These Days
by GeekBastard23
Summary: Tag to 10x9 Devil's Trifecta. When Tony overhears Gibbs' talk to Diane in the basement, he believes that he'll never have a chance with him. Slash.


**A/N: **_I really should have studied and all, but the last episode just wouldn't let me go, so here's a tag to 'Devil's Trifecta', which was, hands down, one of the funniest episodes ever. So, naturally, spoilers for this episode.**  
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**Disclaimer: **Nothing belongs to me. This is just for fun.**  
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**These Days**

Tony quickly and soundlessly backed away from the basement as Diane moved to leave the house. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on her and Gibbs' conversation, but once he had realized what he had walked in on, he couldn't not listen to them. Now, though, he wished he hadn't. It wasn't guilty conscience that had made itself perceivable but Gibbs' words had somehow managed to make him sad from one moment to the next. Tony had long known the reason for all his failed marriages, but it had almost killed him to hear Gibbs say it – to one of his exes nonetheless. He didn't really know what to make out of the conversation. Gibbs always seemed like he hated Diane, but he had almost been mellow down in the basement just a few minutes previously. Maybe there was more to them than met the eye after all.

Tony knew it was none of his business and internally debated just to let it go, get back into his car and go home, but something kept him glued to the kitchen floor. There was something about Gibbs' statement near the end of their conversation that made him all tingly inside. He knew that Gibbs saw the team as his kids sometimes and that it was the reason he was never truly alone. Part of Tony felt the well-known pang of pain shoot through him like every time someone said that they were all Gibbs' kids. He wanted Gibbs to love him, that was for sure, but not like a father loves his child. He wanted more from the man and even though he knew that it would never happen – the conversation with Diane had proved it once again just minutes before – he was still sometimes able to fool himself into believing that there was a chance. When Gibbs' eyes lingered on him longer than necessary or when his hand stayed a little longer on the back of his head after a slap. He savored in those moments because he knew that they were all he would ever get. He wasn't mad about it, it was just the way things were and even if Shannon hadn't been in the picture, there was still the little fact that Gibbs wasn't gay. Hell, even Tony wasn't entirely sure he, himself, was. He had never had the hots for a man, had never ached to touch one, but over the last years, Tony hadn't been able to suppress the feeling anymore. That didn't mean he would ever act on them, but it was nice to know that he wasn't as screwed up inside as he had always thought he was. He had finally found someone he loved – and he was sure that he did love Gibbs – and though the fact that Gibbs didn't love him back was breaking his heart over and over again, he wasn't willing to let it go. He was okay with spending an occasional night in the man's basement, eating an occasional steak. It was as good as it got after all. He simply wouldn't leave the man behind for whatever reason.

Tony sighed and was just about to leave the house after all when Gibbs' voice traveled up the stairs from the basement.

"You done hiding yet, DiNozzo?"

Tony winced and then slowly came out of the kitchen and walked down the stairs, plastering an apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry, Boss," he said. "I really didn't mean to eavesdrop. I had no idea she would be here."

Gibbs looked up at him for a moment before he just shrugged, refilling the mug in front of him. Tony hadn't been able to see him while he had listened to his and Diane's conversation earlier and that was maybe why he felt his heart drop as he looked at the other man more closely. He was wearing an old and rumpled sweatshirt that had so obviously been made by his daughter that Tony felt even worse for intruding into his boss' personal life like that. He hadn't seen that pullover before, but the state it was in showed him that Gibbs had worn it quite a lot, was probably still thinking about the day Kelly had made it for him whenever he pulled it on.

"I should go," he finally pressed out, his eyes still fixed on the sweatshirt.

"Mhm," Gibbs just said, finally looking up from his bourbon. "Or you could stay."

"Stay?" Tony asked slightly confused because Gibbs had never asked him to stay before.

"That's what I said, yeah."

"Why?" Tony replied as he took the last of the steps.

"You didn't have a reason to come here?" Gibbs deadpanned and then gulped down the rest of his drink, just to refill it a moment afterwards. "Want some?" he then asked, already emptying another jar.

"Sure," Tony nodded. "And no, I don't really know why I'm here. I mean… Maybe I thought you wanted some company after the day you had and all."

"Yeah? What kind of day was that, DiNozzo?"

"Oh, I don't know," Tony grinned ever so slightly as he accepted the offered beverage. "One of your best friends gets shot and you have to work together with your mutual ex-wife. Then you find McCasanova asleep with her on the couch. And to top that off, you have to fake propose to your ex-wife. I'd be beat after a day like that."

Gibbs snorted as he imperceptibly shook his head. "I think you're right. It was messed up."

Tony nodded and then sat down on one of the saw horses. They stayed silent after that, each of them staring into space and hanging in thoughts. A little while later, Tony cleared his throat, took another sip from the bourbon and started to talk again.

"You really proposed to her like that?"

"Mhm," Gibbs replied noncommittally. "Why?"

"Just asking. Didn't know you had it in you."

Gibbs stared at him for a second or two before he let out bark of a laugh that made Tony lose some of the tension in his body. He grinned up at his boss and shrugged.

"What, you thought I'd get four women to marry me without one sweet word?"

"Guess not," Tony replied, shaking his head.

It was odd for them to talk like that and as he watched Gibbs pour himself another drink, he suddenly realized why. He had rarely seen him drunk and even though, he didn't look drunk, Tony realized that Gibbs had to have a couple of drinks before Tony had even arrived. He idly wondered if Gibbs even got drunk, if he was physically able to. It didn't matter much though. It was comfortable down there, he liked Gibbs' company and even though, there was still something that bothered the younger man, without him really knowing what it was exactly, he suddenly didn't feel so lonely anymore. He knew that it was the bourbon that made Gibbs open up to him somewhat, had probably made him open up to Diane, too, but he would take it because he knew that Gibbs never said something he didn't want to share.

"Was she right?" he finally asked, not having a clue where his sudden courage came from.

"About what?"

"That you never loved her."

Gibbs glanced at him for a moment or two, subtly shaking his head before he unexpectedly sat down next to him.

"I don't know," he replied after a while. "I liked her a lot, but I don't think I liked her enough to fall in love with her."

"Huh," Tony grunted before he downed the rest of his drink. "So it's true? Is the one you fall in love with really supposed to be your best friend?"

"Shannon was," Gibbs replied after a moment of poignant silence, taking yet another sip from his bourbon. "She was always the one I could tell everything."

"That's nice," Tony mumbled and stared straight ahead, wondering why he had even bothered to ask when he had known that he didn't really want to know the answer.

"You'll find someone, too," Gibbs suddenly continued.

Tony gulped audibly at his words. He had no clue where that had come from. Gibbs simply didn't talk like that to him. He had mostly just ordered him to man up whenever they had been talking about stuff like that. He felt the older man's eyes on him, but refused to look at him for the moment, fearing that he might give himself away. He was sure that Gibbs was always able to see right through him anyway. So, he continued to stare vacantly at the far wall as, for once, he didn't have a clue what he was supposed to say.

"Or did I miss something? Have you already found someone?" Gibbs spoke up after a while, and for a second, Tony feebly wondered why the man was pushing him like that tonight.

"Nah," he said, waving him off and trying to get some easiness back into his voice. "There's no one. If I'd have to go with the best friend angle… no, you don't want to know."

Gibbs snorted, downed the rest of his glass and grabbed Tony's to refill both of them.

"Thanks," Tony mumbled as they clinked their jars. "But like you said earlier, I'm not alone anyway. I've got you guys."

"You sure it's enough?" Gibbs asked quietly as he set down next to him again, bumping their shoulders in the course.

"Don't know," Tony shrugged. "It is for you."

"Yeah, but I'm old," Gibbs chuckled ever so slightly and Tony suddenly realized that the older man really was drunk by now. "And I've already had it once."

"Who says there can't be a second time?" Tony asked before he could hold himself back. "I mean, you're not that old, Gibbs," he grinned at him. "And I bet there are plenty of women out there who would appreciate you."

"Ya think?" Gibbs snorted.

"I know," Tony pressed on. "Just look at Diane. Even though you divorced her, she'd still be back here in no time if you only asked her to. I'm not saying you should go back to her because that obviously wouldn't work for you, but you know. It's never too late, right?"

"When did you suddenly become so wise?" Gibbs chuckled again as he bumped his shoulder against Tony's.

"Learned from the best," Tony replied, pathetically trying to give him a smile. "I mean, didn't you basically just say the same thing to your ex?"

"Yeah," Gibbs replied thoughtfully. "It's not like I've given up completely anyway."

"Yeah?" Tony asked, his interest reviving. "You're actually looking?"

"No," the older man replied, the same old annoyance suddenly back in his voice. "I mean I know it's been over twenty years since… maybe it time to move on."

"Or maybe it isn't," Tony blurted out without thinking. "I mean, just look at you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gibbs replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't mean it like that," Tony hurried to reassure him. "It's just… every woman who saw you now would immediately know that you'll never get over the death of your girls. I mean… that sweater, Gibbs…"

"What about it?" the older man asked as he absent-mindedly ran a finger over Kelly's hand print.

"It's too great for words and that you're still wearing it over twenty years later makes even my heart break."

He felt Gibbs' eyes bore into him, but he refused to look at him. What the hell had he just said? Gibbs was the one who was drunk, not him. What was wrong with him? Break his heart? Over a damn sweater? He shook his head and sipped from his bourbon, hoping that it would somehow help to ease the tension that had gripped his body all of a sudden.

"Tony?" Gibbs finally broke the silence, his voice rather tentative for once. "What am I missing here?"

"Nothing," Tony hurried to answer. "I've just had more to drink than I thought."

"No, you didn't," Gibbs replied. "When you said earlier I didn't want to know, what were you talking about?"

"Nothing," Tony answered, running a hand through his hair. "Nobody. I was joking."

"So, there is somebody?"

"How do you figure that from me saying there's nobody?"

"I've known you for a while, DiNozzo," Gibbs said and Tony could almost hear the smirk on his lips. "I know when you're nervous."

"I'm not," Tony replied vehemently and finally turned to look at Gibbs, whose face was closer than he had expected.

He closed his eyes, trying to figure out how in the world they had gotten there. He took a deep breath and breathed in Gibbs' scent for a moment too long because it made him lose his train of thought once again. He really had to be drunk. There simply was no other explanation for his freak-out.

"You seriously want to tell me there is nobody when you're blushing like a little schoolgirl?" Gibbs chuckled once again before he took another sip.

"You're drunk."

"I don't get drunk," Gibbs replied indignantly. "Even if I was, I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining it."

"Can you let it rest?" Tony burst out. "I'm not telling you."

"Fine," Gibbs chuckled again, holding up his hands in surrender, before his expression changed ever so slightly, becoming more serious. "But you know you can come to me if you wanted to talk, right? I'll listen."

"I know that, Gibbs," Tony replied almost softly, the anger that had momentarily possessed him fading away. "You're my friend, I know that."

Gibbs nodded ever so slightly, giving him his trademark half-smirk, half-smile and was just about to sip from his bourbon once again as his eyes widened ever so slightly. Momentarily forgetting the drink, he furrowed his brow, staring at Tony like he was some kind of miracle. The younger man, in the meantime, felt his heart pick up pace as he realized what he had just said. Had he given himself away after all? No, Gibbs had known that he was his friend before that and he was much too drunk to realize that Tony had just somehow in some way told him that… No, he hadn't. Tony closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure before he opened them again and was slightly startled when Gibbs' blue ones where much closer than before.

"Tell me," the older man whispered now, the hand holding the drink still almost comically hovering in midair. "That I'm misinterpreting this?"

Tony stared at him and desperately wanted to nod his head, but somehow he found himself unable to do so. He wanted to say no, wanted to deny everything and yet he was just sitting there, staring at the other man as if he had never seen him before. The palms of his hands were sweaty by now and he was gripping the jar so tightly that his knuckles had already started to turn white. He needed to relax, needed to tell a joke and it would all go away. He just needed to think of something funny. Something… Anything.

"I'm not, am I?" Gibbs finally continued, still whispering.

Like in trance, Tony felt himself shake his head, feebly wondering why he was suddenly able to move again. He watched Gibbs' eyes turn impossibly wider before he realized that he had just told him that he was indeed in love with him.

_Shit._

He tried to say something witty to escape this, but he couldn't come up with anything. His mind was blank and all he could do was staring into those blue eyes that were still much too close to his own. Gibbs just sat there, too, for a couple of minutes, blinking and slightly blushing.

"How long?" he finally pressed out and then gulped down the last of his bourbon.

"Don't know," Tony mumbled. "A while. I never meant to tell you."

"Why the hell not?" Gibbs blurted out and it was so uncharacteristically for him and yet so in character because he sounded almost annoyed now, that Tony felt his stomach give a jolt.

"Why the hell would I?" Tony retorted, finally finding his voice again. "You're my boss, My very male boss, might I add. Why in the world would I tell you I was… I was…"

"That you're what?" Gibbs prodded and Tony suddenly felt unable not to say it.

"That I'm in love with you, okay? You satisfied now?"

"You are?" Gibbs asked and he was still too close for Tony to think straight.

"Yeah, Gibbs," Tony finally resigned. "I've been in love with you forever. I tried to deny it for the most part, but I just can't do that anymore. And I don't expect you to do anything. Like I said, I never meant to tell you because things are fine the way they are. Seriously, I'm happy with my life. I'm happy as long as you're not quitting on me now."

"I'd never quit," Gibbs replied, furrowing his brow. "I just didn't realize."

"That's okay," Tony hurried to explain. "You weren't supposed to realize. I've always been good at deflecting and I've had years of training. Like I said, I don't expect anything from you. I'll just go home now and tomorrow at work we'll pretend this never happened."

Gibbs remained silent and Tony took it as his silent compliance, so he stood up shakily and was just about to turn around when he felt a warm hand on his wrist, effectively holding him in place. He looked down at Gibbs and momentarily lost himself in his blue eyes that were staring intently at him.

"Gibbs?"

"Don't go," the older man replied so quietly that Tony almost involuntarily bent down to be able to understand him better.

"Why?" he whispered when Gibbs just continued to stare at him.

"Don't know," Gibbs furrowed his brow again before he pulled at Tony's arm until the younger man sat down next to him again.

They stared at each other for a long while and just when Tony was about to thoroughly freak out, Gibbs suddenly leaned into him and kissed him. Tony felt his heart skip a beat or two. He didn't even kiss him back, didn't register that this was actually Gibbs who was kissing him. In fact, he was too shocked to move at all. Only when Gibbs backed away from him ever so slightly, did Tony's mind catch up with what had just happened.

"Don't do this to me," he finally whispered. "Don't do this to me because you're lonely or because you've had a bad day. I don't want it like that."

"I didn't," Gibbs said equally quiet. "This has nothing to do with Diane or the past or because I'm lonely."

"Then what is it?"

"I hadn't realized before. Not until you told me."

"Realized what?" Tony asked, feeling very shaky all of a sudden. Was this really happening?

"You were right that your… whatever is supposed to be your friend, maybe your best friend. I just hadn't looked at you like that because I never considered you to be… interested."

"It changes nothing, though," Tony replied, hating himself for saying it.

But it was true. There were reasons that he had never told him. There was Shannon and the fact that Gibbs just couldn't let go of her even if he wanted to.

"Why not?" Gibbs asked and for a second, Tony was sure that his voice was about to break.

"Shannon," Tony sighed, running a hand over his face. "Like you told Diane before, you can't let go of her. And I would never ask you to."

"No, I didn't say that," Gibbs replied quietly. "I said I couldn't then, but I also said that I was trying and willing to move on. I just hadn't found the right person yet."

"And I'm the right person?" Tony pressed out, his pulse rushing loudly through his ears as he tried to clear his head.

This had to be a dream, a surreal dream. This was one of those Hugh Grant/Julia Roberts _Notting Hill _surreal moments. Gibbs couldn't be sitting there next to him telling him that Tony was the right person for him. He surely hadn't just told him that he was willing to move on for him. Not when he was sitting there with the sweater his daughter had made for him that almost screamed 'I'm living in the past'. This simply couldn't be true.

"Who else would be, Tony?" Gibbs replied so softly that it made Tony's heart skip a beat again. "You know what a bastard I am and you've still stuck with me for over eleven years now. Nobody has ever done that before. I know I can count on you no matter what and you're far more than just my Senior Agent and you know it. Hell, I don't care that you're a guy or that I've never realized before tonight. I just know, okay?"

"You mean that?"

"Yeah."

Tony blinked once and twice and before he had even formed a coherent thought, he had leant forwards and kissed him. This time, he noticed the surprisingly soft lips, tasted the bourbon and the slight note of coffee still lingering on the other man. He knew that they hadn't done nearly enough talking, not for something so monumental that it made his mind ache from all the thinking, but at that moment, he simply didn't care. It was like something had just locked into place, into the place where it should have been all this time. He was kissing Gibbs and Gibbs was kissing him back. And when Tony's tongue begged for entrance, the older man was opening up easily. Their tongues moved like they had done this a thousands of times before and Tony suddenly realized that it felt strangely right.

He had no idea how long they've sat there, kissing each other, and it hardly mattered anyway. Just when he felt Gibbs' hands fingering with the hem of his shirt and when he was finally about to receive that kind of skin contact he had dreamed of for so many years, he heard a strangled sound coming from the top of the stairs followed by a loud

"What the hell?"

Gibbs backed away from Tony, his eyes still fixed on him, as he chuckled ever so slightly.

"Really not the best time, Tobias," he said then and Tony finally looked away from Gibbs to glance up at Fornell, who was standing there, rooted to the spot, staring at them in disbelief.

"Really, Jethro?" he finally asked after a moment of prolonged silence. "I get shot, have to work with Diane, have to watch McGee sleep with her in his arms and now this? What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Gibbs gave back, his hand still lingering at the hem of Tony's shirt.

"When why do I feel like in that TV show?" Fornell asked, still staring at them in disbelief.

"_The Twilight Zone_, you mean?" Tony helped him out, barely able to contain his laughter all of a sudden.

"Yeah," Fornell answered distractedly. "Never mind," he then continued, subtly shaking his head. "None of my business. I'll just go to some bar and hope to God that I can make myself forget these last two days ever happened."

He was just about to turn around when Gibbs finally averted his eyes from Tony to look at his friend instead.

"Come by tomorrow? I'll make steaks."

"Yeah," Fornell replied and sighed. "I'll bring the beer."

With that, he was out the door, leaving Tony and Gibbs sitting there on the sawhorse in the older man's basement, grinning at each other like madmen.

"You know, none of this would have happened if you just put a lock on your door," Tony finally blurted out and suddenly wasn't able to hold back his laughter anymore.

The head slap that came wasn't unexpected, the hand that stayed on the back of his head was though and before Tony knew what was even happening, he was pulled closer towards the other man and then thoroughly kissed.

And Tony knew right in this moment that no matter how strange those last couple of days had been, there was one thing that wasn't strange at all. Kissing Gibbs wasn't strange or weird or uncomfortable… it was just right.


End file.
